Features Editor- Eric Hofer

Southern Minnesota is home to many unique species, though one of the most easily overlooked is very near to home for many of us. Of course, we are talking about the Gustavus Student, also known by their scientific name of Studierma Gustivae. Students are native to a small hill overlooking the Minnesota River Valley, living in a habitat closely monitored by the local residents and often visited by prospective students. 

I was fortunate enough to receive an invitation to accompany some prospective students on their tour of the habitat. I flew out in a heartbeat, meeting with my guide at the bottom of the hill, along with the rest of my small tour group. For our first stop, we visited the center of campus, where we were told that many Students congregate, spend time together, and eat. 

As we stepped into their designated food area, I got many strange looks. I wasn’t hungry, but still got the opportunity to have some insight to what their diet consists of. I wish I could determine which foods they preferred, however, I believe my presence was disturbing their normal eating patterns. Whenever I would peer over a Student’s shoulder while holding my notepad, they’d suddenly shift towards a different option; for instance, one Student was about to get a plate full of cream cheese wontons, but decided to move towards some leafy greens instead.

Afterwards, we ventured towards a large building with a spire reaching into the sky. I believe this to be a place of great significance towards the Students, as many of them were gathered around the structure, though few went in. My current hypothesis is that this may be an ancient temple of sorts, though when I proposed this to the rest of my group, I was met with little more than eye rolls. My guide mentioned something about a “diced apple”, which I only realized as I write this now was actually “Christ Chapel.”

We made our way behind the temple and into a large plain, with several Students taking advantage of the nice weather to work or eat outside. Though, I did find it quite curious how as they saw us approaching, their demeanor would change; someone who was obviously distracted from their work would suddenly start working furiously or a group of Students relaxing on the grass would jump up and start throwing frisbees around. 

Next, we decided to visit some of their structures, which are surprisingly well made for the likes of them. The one my guide seemed the most proud of was a building that they claimed was for scientific research and study. And while this would typically be something right up my alley, I saw far more coffee cups than test tubes. Perhaps caffeine plays a central role in their research process? After all, most of the Students I observed seemed to be drinking some sort of coffee. I suppose that brewing coffee could be considered a science, but due to the large crowd in the structure, I couldn’t get much further than that before being swept away.

Our next visit ended up being one of their dens, or as my guide called them, “residence halls.” We were informed that the youngest of their species were split among two dens on opposite sides of the habitat. I presume this is because otherwise, there may be infighting which could lead to the demise of the species. We stopped by one of them, though my presence felt unwelcome, to say the least. As soon as we stepped foot into the den, all the Students turned to look at us, and though they tried to turn their attention back to whatever they had been doing before, it was clear that they felt some sort of pressure.

We stopped by one of their designated sleeping quarters, and I must say, I’m surprised at how they manage in such a confined space. The Student must be a species that watches over one another as they rest. However, given how bare the space was, I decided to venture off from my group to examine their bathing habits; I believe that how a species bathes can tell us a lot about their culture. However, just as I was rounding the corner, I was pulled aside by my guide and told that I had “been a disturbance” and had to leave.

And so concluded my expedition to the Student habitat. Though I didn’t get as much information as I would have liked, I still managed to get a good feel for how they live their lives. Perhaps someday, I’ll become a Student myself.