* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but those of another news publication on campus, infiltrating the very way news at Gustavus is done. THE FUTURE IS TODAY, GUSTIES.
Friday, Mar. 21
Dove Real Beauty Speaker: Alumni Hall 7 p.m.
This exhilirating discussion will be rooted in the visual beauty of doves, pigeons, and other birds of the avian order Columbiformes.
Weekend Movie: Frozen: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 & 10 p.m.
I keep hearing everyone’s obession with this damn movie, and I’m all like “Let It Go” already.
Relax, Reflect, Remake: An Annual Spring Sab- bath and Renewal Re- treat: Shalom Hill Farm March 21-23
It’s called a nap, people.
Saturday, Mar. 22
Vagina Monologues: Alumni Hall 8 p.m.
Not to be confused with the Virginia Monologues, a series of positive reviews about the Old Dominion State.
Weekend Movie: Frozen: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 & 10 p.m.
Maybe the characters in this movie would have been better off if they had embraced the warmth of democracy. END THE MONARCHY.
GAC Talks: Alumni Hall 10 a.m.-12 p.m. and 1-3 p.m.
The tables have turned – you can make your professors fall asleep while you give a lecture!
Latin Fiesta SNL: Lund Center 10 p.m. – 1 a.m.
Want to see Ohle try to salsa on a table again?
Sunday, Mar. 23
Vagina Monologues: Alumni Hall 2 p.m.
So much feminism that there will be an empower outage for the rest of campus.
Weekend Movie: Frozen: Wallenberg Auditorium 2 p.m.
If only there was some kind of magic to thaw the winter hell of Gustavus.
Monday, Mar. 24
Peace Studies Award Celebration: President’s Dining Room 5 p.m.
They don’t announce winners, though. Peace Studies folks get violently competitive.
Tuesday, Mar. 25
Poetry Reading: Two Poets from Northern Ireland: Interpretive Center 7 p.m.
I bet the English Department takes them to Patrick’s for traditional Irish cuisine and atmosphere.
Wednesday, Mar. 26
Watering Hole Wednesdays: Culpeper Language Center 3:30 p.m.
Are the language tutors waterboarding people until they know their French?
Thursday, Mar. 27
Culpeper Foreign Language Game Days: Culpeper Language Center 3:30 p.m.
Do you know what word is the same in every language? YAHTZEE!
The Sodra Vatterbygdens Folkhogskola Choir in Concert: Christ Chapel 7 p.m.
Okay, Music Department. I can type out random letters, too: Klksjdflkadns xjnewiopu choir.