“Don’t tell them you’re from Gustavus, though. They’ll think you’re—well, they’ll assume you’re desperate.”

“Wait, what?”

At least that was my reaction. About six months ago, I happened to be shopping at the Penny’s in River Hills down in Mankato, picking up a few President’s Ball items. In the process of discussing the streamlining dynamics of lace briefs under tight dresses with the girl behind the counter, I was ambushed by a sneaky epiphany on gender dynamics.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, P-Ball. I go to Gustavus. It’s our yearly dance. Like prom, but with class.”

“Oh fun! Do you have a date, then?”

“Well, not so much. I’m going with friends. It’s kind of hard to find a date when two-thirds of your campus is women, you know?”

“Haha, I bet. I wouldn’t know though. I go to Mankato. It’s like a quarter girls.”

“Wow, that must be nice.”

“It’s not bad. But hey, if you want a date, just come to Mankato, they’ll throw themselves at you.”

And then came the ambush.

“Don’t tell them you’re from Gustavus, though. They’ll think you’re, well, they’ll assume you’re desperate.”

That’s kind of a hefty assumption. At first I was all indignant—Gustie pride, good people, et cetera. But then I realized that the laws of supply and demand simply lead you to play by different rules.

It’s kind of absurd when you think about it. Unless the balance is skewed heavily one way or the other, you don’t really notice anything different. Sure, one could argue that the traditional unspoken dating rules are inherently patronizing, but in the end we’re all just playing tug of war. Every relationship, regardless of gender or orientation, is about give and take. But when there’s only so much to go around, people alter their behavior to meet the situation.

Heterosexual women at schools like Gustavus are faced with a choice: play by the male minority’s rules, or look elsewhere. With fewer and fewer men in general going to college these days, it’s not all that uncommon of a situation. Straight men can afford to “shop around,” and so an environment of hook-ups, hanging out and general casualness is created, much to the dismay of most women, who are less likely to find a serious relationship this way. They end up having to play the field just as much as men, hoping to catch the fleeting attention of a fickle flirtation for more than five minutes.

I have at least one friend who is in a long-term relationship with someone she met at Gustavus. But most of my friends in relationships are seeing someone off-campus, someone they met at a summer job or know from home. This results in a lot of schedule coordinating and negotiation of travel times, knowing it could be weeks before you get to see your partner again. Not exactly an ideal situation.

Not that it doesn’t go the other way. At heavily male schools, women end up calling the shots. Serious relationships end up becoming the norm, and men and women seeking something a bit more low key are left in the dust. But male-dominated schools are becoming the exception in a predominantly female collegiate pool.

So where does that leave us Gusties? Just because almost two-thirds of the students here are women and the competition is stiff doesn’t mean you have to follow the curve if you don’t want to. Maybe the situation here works for you, and that’s great. But for those of you who are simply dissatisfied with the way things are, don’t be afraid to play by your own rules.

Maybe Gustavus isn’t the ideal place to find someone new, but then again, there are fish that live in caves, right? Stranger things have happened.