* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the final calendar entries of the original ancient Mayan calendar. We will see in a week if we have reason to be nervous at the end of the year.
Friday, Oct. 5
Weekend Movie: Brave: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 p.m. & 10 p.m.
When will Pixar figure out that people look nothing like their animations?
LineUs Show: The Dive 8 p.m.
Word on the street is that the Queen is coming. She f#$%ing loves improv.
Saturday, Oct. 6
LALACS Mundialito Soccer Cup: Fields Behind Confer-Vickner 9 a.m.
Even Latin American Studies are calling it “soccer.” It looks like we won.
Giant Games: Eckman Mall 11:30 a.m.
Paul Bunyan and Goliath square off in their annual tennis duel.
Weekend Movie: Brave: Wallenberg Auditorium 3 p.m., 7 p.m., & 10 p.m.
This movie will always be looking Up at the other Pixar movies.
Plastik Musik: Bjorling Recital Hall 8:30 p.m.
Not to be confused with Joan Rivers and Megan Fox’s jazz group.
Sunday, Oct. 7
Weekend Movie: Brave: Wallenberg Auditorium 2 p.m.
It’s just an animated version of Braveheart, right?
Monday, Oct. 8
Homecoming: Window Painting: Evelyn Young Dining Room 5-9 p.m.
This is how Michelangelo got his start.
“Christianity & Judaism after the Holocaust,” Exploring Religious Questions Series: Olin 103 7-9 p.m.
Editors of The GusTavian Weekly have removed this joke.
Tuesday, Oct. 9
Dishin’ with the Deans: Beck 113 10:30 a.m.
I hear Dean O’Loughlin makes a mean tuna casserole.
Grad School Talk: Humanities Resource Center (Confer 230) 4:30 p.m.
A.K.A. Scared Straight for Humanities majors.
Wednesday, Oct. 10
Teachers Talking: Board Room 11:30 a.m.
And no one listening.
Writing Buffet: Courtyard Café 7 p.m.
They are going to make you eat your words.
Thursday, Oct. 11
Thursday Evenings with the Religion Department: Third Floor of Old Main 6-7:30 p.m.
A plethora of the Torah.
Aries: When you think about it, Ginger Spice is the only real Spice Girl.
Taurus: Nobel just feels shorter every year, doesn’t it?
Gemini: The King and Queen aren’t even going to be awake during their stay. Jet lag doesn’t care if you are royal.
Cancer: People paying cash at the Caf during Nobel, you have no souls.
Leo: Run away from wherever you are right now. Don’t ask questions, just
Virgo: Your inability to say no at the Involvement Fair will haunt you forever.
Libra: At what point does MC Hammer start his own hardware store?
Scorpio: Home Alone has probably become far too real now for Macaulay Culkin.
Sagittarius: The threat of a longboard revolution is a legitimate fear.
Capricorn: The King and Queen are definitely coming back for Case Day.
Aquarius: The over/under for number of words read during Reading Days by Gusties this year will be set at 47.
Pisces: When the College Democrats and College Republicans have a Battle Royale, I’ll care about this election.